I was living my best life, and then I had a stroke.

I’m retired, but had been working several part time jobs I enjoyed. Occasional travel. Family and friends to do life with. Annual participation in a few marathons (mostly walking). Too many hobbies and interests. Walked my dog and exercised almost daily. Finally, empty nesters. A future European river cruise planned. Church involvement. All the boxes were “checked”.

And then “it” happened. Zero warning signs. An ordinary, uneventful day at work was completed. We had just started eating our dinner of Taco Casa (because I’m a health nut). All of a sudden, my right hand lost feeling and became dead weight. Five minutes later – my words started slurring. Praise God my wife had called in sick the day before and was able to drive me to the ER. A bunch of tests. Lots of waiting. Uncomfortable cords, wires, and electronic devices attached to me. Poking, proding, and needles. More waiting. A stroke was the diagnosis. It was caused by calcium buildup (and probably a piece breaking off) in my carotid artery (who knew???). Immediate surgery was strongly recommended. Seventy-two hour observation to ensure no additional incidents. Had to stay two extra days in the hospital because they don’t do surgeries on the weekends. Monday morning finally arrived. A three hour successful surgery. Hooked up to more stuff equalling next to zero sleep. Finally, discharged the next afternoon after a week in the hospital. Ten days passed and I was still experiencing difficulty swallowing. After two days of phone tag, I was able to reach the PA in my surgeon’s office. She recommended going to the ER for the symptoms. Then diagnosed with a brain bleed. Ugh – another hospital stay. Released next day with the symptoms to be closely monitored . . .

Whew. Through all of this – I cannot get over the fact of how fast life can change for all of us. A few examples from others immediately come to mind: A medical situation while on vacation, a diagnosis out of nowhere, a broken relationship that seemed perfect a week ago, a traffic accident while peacefully driving home, a pink slip after buying a new home . . .

I went from a packed schedule of work and fun events – to an empty calendar with nothing but doctor appointmnets. From public speaking to speech therapy sessions. Rest, naps, and extensive periods of sitting replacing exercise. Enjoying eating to difficulty swallowing. Panic attacks while driving. Bouts with depression instead of waking happy and hopeful each morning.

Please understand – I’m not trying to make you feel sorry for me. I’m just relaying the multiple conditions that helped drill into my head the unavoidable truth of how fast life can change.

I would have loved to have been a spiritual giant through all of this. I wasn’t. I struggled with fear, tears, and agnst with the best of them. I’ve had to learn to give myself grace and acceptance for feeling the normal human emotions that accompany something like this. I try to seek Jesus in these situations after the smoke has cleared and have had time to process. Asking questions like: What are you trying to teach me, and what are you saying?

Reflections? I had a lot of time to sit and think. There comes a time when the TV, scrolling, puzzles, music, books, movies, etc. all lose their appeal. Being forced to sit in an empty room with only your thoughts. I came up with these, maybe you can relate?

1. Being more intentional about slowing down. Since when does everything have to be maximized, optimized, and even sometimes monetized? We probably all need more down time and boredom. Screens have got us addicted to endless content consumption, dopamine hits, and discomfort being still even for a few moments. I’m slowly learning how to rest or do nothing – and not feel guilty about it. I’m still being taught that my worth is not in what I achieve, do, or accomplish. I’m a child of God, and my worth is there.
2. Growth in empathy. I was able to briefly experience, see a snapshot, or think about the people that face this frightening world everyday. Those with long-term, incurrable illnesses, unending doctor appointments, and extended hospital stays. People who want to work but can’t. How easy depression and discouragement can creep in.
3. Thankfulness. No matter how on top, in control, or invincible we might feel – no one is guaranteed tomorrow. We’re not even guaranteed the next few seconds! Extreme gratitude for the gift of life. It could have easily been taken from me. Also, abundant thankfulness for all who prayed and continue to pray for me. I credit my recovery to divine intervention and healing. As of this writing, I was cleared to go back to work, exercise, and the brain bleed is gone!!!!!!

Two closing thoughts . . .

First thought – Life is incredibly fragile, unpredictable, and swift. All of us never know then our final breath will occur. And then, the biggest question of all: Where will we spend eternity, or is this life all that there is? The Bible gives us a clear, concise way for us to know: If you confess with your mouth Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart God raised him from the dead you are saved (Romans 10:9). Please, wrestle with this and make your peace with God today!

Second thought – Are you prioritizing your physical and mental health? Being proactive, or are you waiting to be reactive if something happens? Picture this: An extended vacation at a tropical resort. Deliciours food and drinks anytime. Beaches, mountains, relaxing, and crystal clear water. Stacks of money to use as you desire. A butler on call 24/7.

And yet, you have a sinus infection and can hardly breathe. Also a migrane. A nagging cough that won’t quit. Insomnia for three nights straight.

Your beautiful location is now insignificant. The luxury doesn’t matter. Food and drink are tasteless. You would pay, give, or sacrifice anything to have your health instead. Health is number one on the life list. So now, please take care of whatever it is while it is still fixable. What check ups, exams, pains, etc. have you been putting off?

Thanks for hearing me out!

Blessings,

Dave 🙂

P.S. Still Waters Blog will be coming to an end soon . . .