Breaking Free: How to Stop People Pleasing

Posted on April 29, 2025 by David Rische

Why do we do it? What’s the deal about so desperately wanting the approval of others? How come sometimes our happiness is directly intertwined with whether someone else is happy or not?

I wish I knew the answers to those questions. Actually, there’s quite a bit of research as to why we are people pleasers. Most of the studies lead back to events that happened when we were innocent children. Dr. Nicole LePara is a holistic psychatrist who says this about the topic:

People pleasers aren’t trying to please other people. They’re trying to avoid their own feelings of shame when they disappoint someone. Every people pleaser has one core goal: control how another person views them.

Ouch. That one kind of hurts. I recently discovered that this problem goes back all the way to the Old Testament. It is mentioned in the book of 2nd Chronicles which was written sometime around 400 B.C. The king had appointed judges to help with the administrative work of the kingdom. Here is a section of the advise he gave them:

“Remember that you do not judge to please people, but to please the Lord.” (2 Chronicles 19: 4-6)

Okay, so this has been a problem for a long time. What are some possible solutions? Here are some suggestions that I’ve found helpful:

*Awareness of our motives and the motives of others – Truly asking: Why am I doing this? Is it simply to get their approval or hope that they “like me”? Does this person or group of people have a history of taking, and this relationship is mostly one sided? We have permission to set up boundaries in our lives to minimize or possibly eliminate the people we’re trying to continually please for no apparent reason. Some are givers and some are takers. Watch out for the takers and keep on being a giver. An excellent resource about this topic is a book by Adam Grant called Give and Take.

*Saying “no” without an explanation. This can be a challenging one. The pleaser in us believes that we owe everyone explanations for our actions. Not true. Think about how many times we say “yes” and regret it. The way to start a new habit of this is giving it a try in a low risk environment.

Example: “Hey, everyone is going the 9 pm showing at the movies, you’re coming, right?”

“No.”

“C’mon, everyone is going! Why would you say ‘no’???”

“No, thanks” (with a friendly and loving smile).

Try this! And remember, you are not required to give an explanation.

*Disappointing adults – The people pleaser wants everyone happy and getting along. This just isn’t possible. When it is all said and done – we can only control our happiness in spite of our best efforts towards others. With the practice of saying “no” without an explanation, sometimes disappointing adults comes with that practice. And it is all right. Once again, Dr. LePera offers her insight from her clinical research:

To have the life you want, you need to start the practice of disappointing people. Teach yourself that adults are capable of being upset, and that your role isn’t to fix everyone else’s issues. Anxiety and depression are signals that you’re neglecting you.

Not being a people pleaser may lose us some popularity contests. That is just fine – let someone else win it. When we observe the life of Jesus – you see he didn’t care what the crowd thought. The Apostle Paul made this claim in reference to being a follower of Jesus and people pleasing:

“If we were living to please people – we wouldn’t follow Jesus.” (Galatians 1:10)

Blessings,

Dave 🙂

https://www.amazon.com/author/davidrische

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Spring Break & Disney World – What Could Go Wrong?

Posted on March 24, 2025 by David Rische

A few years ago, I painstakingly planned the “perfect” vacation to Disney World and Universal Studios for Spring Break. This ended up being one of my most popular blog posts that many people commented they could completely relate to. Here’s a recap of my story:

Are you a “Planner”, or do you like to “Fly by the seat of your pants”? I’m a total Planner. Thus, the inspiration for this blog. I had extensively planned for about 8 months an Orlando Spring Break vacation for my daughter’s senior trip. We had never been there as a family – so I read endless books, conducted extensive interviews and interrogations with those that had been past visitors, and combed the Internet for anything related to this magical place. This was going to be the greatest family trip we (or anyone else in history) had ever taken. This time, I was going to do everything right. No room for error. Pure joy. Every activity would be on a precise schedule – just like Robert Deniro’s character in Meet the Parents.

The trip got off to a rough start when I noticed a sharp discomfort in my lower back around 5:30 am at DFW Airport. Thought it was a cramp, nerves, or some other nuance that would go away. We boarded the flight, and those uncomfortable airplane seats were even more uncomfortable. Three hours later, I was writhing in pain – I literally started crawling on the floor of the terminal at the Orlando airport. Was this “The Big One” like Fred Sanford used to say? Was one of my major organs giving out? Appendix bursting? We found a saint of a cab driver that sped us to a close and quality ER. About 5 hours later, I had passed my first kidney stone! Okay, this wasn’t in the plans. However, the medical staff patched me up and blessed me with meds – in a few hours I was screaming in exhilaration as we rode The Everest Expedition Roller Coaster that evening. Slight “blip” in the plans, but we would hit the next few days with a vengeance. Universal Studios and Harry Potter World were tomorrow.

In spite of getting up at the crack of dawn, it seemed as though tens of thousands of other people had that same idea. As the lines allowed, we rode every ride we could between the two Universal Parks (some marketing genius out there conceived the idea of splitting up the Harry Potter World into two worlds – I would love to say it was for the benefit of the consumers, but it was so they can double their moolah intake). We were exhausted, but tomorrow was The Magic Kingdom – and I was determined to see my plans to fruition.

Our hotel was about 20 minutes away from The Magic Kingdom. They offered a “free shuttle” that left at 7 am and dropped everyone off at Epcot (which I was informed is the central hub for all Disney Park transportation). Thought we’d save a few bucks and not use a taxi or Uber. Sounded perfect – The Kingdom opens at 8, leave at 7, arrive between 7:30-7:45, scan our tickets, and we would be in! Everyone had advised us to get there right as the park opens, and you can experience at least 3 major rides before the crowd hits. That advice combined with 3 Fastpasses – I envisioned myself joyfully singing, “Yo-ho, Yo-ho, a Pirate’s Life for Me!” We had the potential of enjoying 6 major rides before the clock struck noon – boom!

The trend of most of my plans not going as I had hoped once again began to rear its ugly head. I first became suspicious when our “shuttle” was a giant charter bus. “Wow, that’s nice of them to provide such a big bus for one hotel,” I thought in my ever increasingly fatigued, naive, and delusional mind. Even though we are not Orlando residents, after about 10 minutes we noticed, “Hey, this isn’t the route to the park.” The bus, oh excuse me – the “shuttle” literally made 7 stops at other hotels before Epcot. The driver dropped us off around 8:15 am in an empty parking lot the size of the poppy field in The Wizard of Oz. It took about a 10-minute walk to get to the Monorail. Phew, finally made it. Oh, but wait – you must get off this Monorail and transfer to another one. Stood in line for about 15 minutes. Rumors circulated throughout the tense crowd that there was a delay.  We waited about 15 more minutes to get on a ferry headed for Disney World. 20 more minutes on the boat ride – and we finally arrived at the entrance around 9:15 am. We soon discovered that half of humanity had already beaten us to the ride (and food) lines – realizing it’s not really such a Small World After All. As the day unfolded, I soon began to fully immerse myself in the spirit of the dwarf Grumpy – along with some of his lesser-known brothers: Pushy, Pouty, and Rudey.

A few days after we returned home – I had some quality time to reflect. I then realized that one of the most important events of our trip was that crummy shuttle ride. That experience served as a great reminder of what it is like to walk with God. So many unplanned stops along the way that test my patience. Not having control over situations and just having to go with the flow. Disappointment. People getting on my nerves. Me getting on people’s nerves. Unexpected barriers and delays that get in the way of me reaching my envisioned destination.  Which leads to the question we can ask in every situation: Is my envisioned destination His envisioned destination?

Plus, I had so much to be thankful for. We were able to save up for the trip instead of charging everything. I could have been stuck in that ER for days, or possibly have had to have surgery, or it could have been “The Big One”. The family had several spontaneous moments of belly busting laughter. A ticket snafu that “entitled” us to 3 any time any ride Fastpasses at Disney Hollywood Studios. And finally, embracing every second of having lunch in Epcot Italy knowing that my daughter is only a few months away from going to college.

This trip was a continual reminder that I want comfort, control, and predictability. God offers wild, uncomfortable uncertainty – covered with many promises that He will be with us every step of the way. May your journey find you somewhere between the happy medium of planning and pants flying.

Dave 🙂

https://www.amazon.com/author/davidrische

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The Heart Matters: Embracing Sincerity Over Spectacle

Posted on February 25, 2025 by David Rische

I meant to post this several weeks ago. I wanted to use one of the themes of Valentine’s Day to write about. So many to chose from: love, candy, flowers, cherub angels, giving, cards, restaurant reservations . . . Then of course, I settled on the most important topic – the heart!

What about the heart? Is there a word of encouragement we could hear during these times that seem to be wearing us down? If we do a topical search – it ends up there are so many verses in the Bible speaking about the heart. However, this one stood out:

” . . . so you can answer those who brag about having a spectacular ministry rather than having a sincere heart.” (2 Corinthians 5: 12)

We can look around and see spectacular ministries . . .

Stages, tours, lights, social media followers, awards, likes and shares, mega churches, best selling authors, autographs, fans, difficult to approach, relate, and talk to . . .

It’s easy to think, “Wow, I’ll never achieve those things. God is really using him or her. That is the unreachable standard. I’ll just keep going along in my own quiet way.”

Wait a minute. According to the 2 Corinthians verse – there’s something better than a spectacular ministry – A sincere heart!

We can look inside for a sincere heart . . .

Earnest, real, candid, genuine, forthright, outspoken, true, trustworthy, serious, profound, deep, honest, and fervent (according to synonym.com).

None of us have achieved “perfect sincerity” – but I’ll bet several of the above listed describe you. Plus, we can keep growing and getting better with the rest. A sincere heart is accomplishable. A spectacular ministry is a select club.

The Lord doesn’t see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart. (1 Samuel 16:7)

Blessings,

Dave 🙂

https://www.amazon.com/author/davidrische

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4 Key Areas for Lifelong Growth

Posted on January 13, 2025 by David Rische

Now is the perfect time to be bombarded with goals, health club memberships, investment in precious metals, miracle meal plans, comfy pillows, financial prosperity, blah, blah, blah. Simple, easy, low cost, effortless, pain-free . . . it wears me out . . . you too??? If you just buy their _________ – then you will meet all your needs and goals you somehow weren’t able to accomplish in years past!!!

There is a simple growth program found in the Bible. It can smoothly be integrated into our daily lives. We can miss a day or two, and that’s just fine. People of all ages may join this program. It can remain low cost. The bad news about the program – it will take the rest of our lives to finish. The good news about the program – it will take the rest of our lives to finish! What is exciting, is that we can always have something to be working and striving towards with this program . . .

Here it is. Check this out:

Jesus grew in wisdom and stature, in favor with God and with men (Luke 2:52).

Four key areas. Jesus grew mentally, physically, spiritually, and socially.

Let’s look at how you and I can do the same. Plus, the myths and reality surrounding these four areas.

  1. Mentally – Myth: I need to know everything about a particular topic. Reality to grow: experiences, reading, podcasts, thinking, praying, courses or classes, new skills, mistakes = improvement, learning, desire to become a better version of myself, creating, and reflecting.
  2. Physically – Myth: I need to belong to a gym and/or purchase massive dollar amounts of equipment, food plans, and supplements. Reality to grow: Eating healthier, reducing sugar, pilates, stretching, walking, exercising, running, working/gardening outside, fresh air, sunlight, and getting out in nature more.
  3. Spiritually – Myth: I’m not good enough for God. Reality to grow: The myth statement is accurate. We can never be good enough in our own strength and abilities. But, believing in His Son Jesus as our Lord and Savior is more than enough. Other ways to grow – Bible reading and study, fasting, giving, praying, church, books, serving, being still, solitude, gratitude, and worship music.
  4. Socially – Myth: I feel like an imposter, what do I have to offer? Reality to grow: stop being a perfectionist, stop keeping score, stop comparing, accept you are enough right now, initiating conversations, small circle of true friends, actively listening to someone, texting encouragement randomly, volunteering, kind social media comments, forgiving offensive people, and setting boundaries with offensive people.

That’s a wrap! These four areas can be pillars for the rest of our lives. Please let me know in the comments of any other actions in these areas you’ve experienced that have helped you grow.

For God knew me in advance, and He chose me to conform to the image of His Son (Romans 8:29).

Blessings,

Dave 🙂

https://www.amazon.com/author/davidrische

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Holiday Amplification . . .

Posted on December 23, 2024 by David Rische

“Tis the season to be jolly . . .” But what about those who are feeling sad?

“Silent Night . . . All is Calm . . .” But what if there’s chaos all over the globe?

“Underneath the Tree . . .” But what if there aren’t any gifts or even a tree?

I recently heard a guest speaker at church who opened up my mind to the above scenarios. To paraphrase, he described how everything gets amplified during the holidays. Great things get amplified:

Joy, family, friends, gifts, wonderful meals, sweet treats, shopping, sales, bonuses, travel . . .

However, challenging things also get amplified during the holidays:

Grief, family strife, job losses, depression, anxiety, hunger, no gifts, divorce, loneliness . . .

Sounds so simple – but I found it deeply profound. We might feel embarrassed because we’re “not feeling it W” this holiday season. We could feel shame because we’ve said multiple times, “I just want to get through Christmas.” There might be deep regret because we tried to manufacture happy holidays by racking up purchases on our credit cards.

It’s all right for us to feel and experience these things. It’s a part of the amazing journey we’re on as being fully human. It can serve as a reminder to our hearts that whether we’re experiencing joy or sorrow – this earth is our temporary residence:

For this world is not our permanent home; we are looking forward to a home yet to come. (Hebrews 13:14)

And since it is temporary, we can always have hope in spite of our current circumstances or feelings:

Yet what we suffer now is nothing compared to the glory he will reveal to us later. (Romans 8:18)

And finally, to experience that future glory, we can believe in and receive the ultimate Christmas gift from God, his son Jesus:

For God loved the world so much that he gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life. God sent his Son into the world not to judge the world, but to save the world through him. (John 3:16,17)

Blessings,

Dave 🙂

https://www.amazon.com/author/davidrische

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When Thanksgiving and Anxiety Coexist

Posted on November 26, 2024 by David Rische

The Thanksgiving schedule looks vaguely familiar to most of us: Leave for your destination or start preparing days in advance if you’re the host. Arrive, visit, get caught up, watch the football games – and then it’s time to eat. Usually a prayer of thanks, fill up the plates, fill up the stomachs, and then rest it off. Watch more games or a movie, have seconds – and then rest it off. Finally, leave for home in enough time to get ready for those Black Friday sales!

Or, Thanksgiving might look surprisingly unfamiliar this year. Grief over a lost loved one. Having to work on the holiday. Financial hardship. Alone. Feelings of anxiety, sadness, and possibly depression.

One of the many great reminders of Thanksgiving is for us to take the time to slow down and reflect on how much we have to be grateful for. Last summer, I read a book called The Answer to Anxiety by Joyce Meyers (strongly recommend). The chapter that stood out the most to me was called “The Discipline of Gratitude.” She talks about maintaining an “Attitude of Gratitude.” This comes from pages 88 and 89 of her book:

When I have a huge, unexpected, unwanted problem, my reaction is to complain, feel sorry for myself, and worry (me too – Dave’s words added). But through discipline, I am learning how to look away from anything that distracts me from God and His goodness and instead discipline myself to look for the blessings in my life. We can find something good in every discomfort if we will only look for it.

We can discipline ourselves to look for the good in things. A friend of mine shared this with me:

  • I am thankful to be able to get out of bed every morning even if I am a little stiff or still sleepy, because it reminds me that I am alive and I have things to do each day.
  • I am thankful when I have to cook a meal, because it reminds me that I have food to eat.
  • I am thankful when I get sore from exercising, because it reminds me that I am blessed with health and strength.
  • I am thankful when the oil in my car needs changing, because it reminds me that I have a car to take me where I need to go.
  • I am thankful when I have to juggle invitations or opportunities to be with friends or family, because it reminds me that I am blessed with people to love and people who love me.
  • I am thankful if my clothes feel a bit tight, because that reminds me I have plenty of food.
  • I am thankful when I have to walk to another part of the house to turn off a light or to adjust the thermostat, because it reminds me that I have electricity and a comfortable home.
  • I am thankful when I pay bills, because it reminds me that I am able to buy what I need.
  • I am thankful when I fight traffic, because it reminds me that I have somewhere to go.

My friend’s list includes things most of us can relate to, so next time you find yourself in one of these situations, I hope you will remember to be thankful because of what it reminds you.

Conclusion: Maybe this is a perspective of what the Apostle Paul meant when he wrote: Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18). It doesn’t mean we still can’t feel anxious, sad, disappointment, or frustration. Looking at the above list – I’m still a work in progress being thankful for bills, traffic, and my car breaking down. I’m reminded of a quote from speaker and author Bob Goff: “Don’t let setbacks become a camp site.”

I’m thankful for you! If this helped – please share with a friend that might need a word of encouragement.

Blessings,

Dave 🙂

https://www.amazon.com/author/davidrische

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You Are Hidden Treasure . . .

Posted on October 22, 2024 by David Rische

Do you find it easy to get caught up in feeling like a number? Statistics say we’re one in 7.9 billion. We have individual Social Security numbers. Driver’s license numbers. Our bank accounts, routing numbers, and PIN’s. Maybe employee numbers, Tax ID numbers, or have had to take a number at the DMV (yuck)?

I’m embarrassed to admit it, but sometimes this thought makes its way into my head: In all of His busyness running the universe – am I a number to God?

A few weeks ago, I came across a verse that stood out when I read it. I’ve seen this story before, but haven’t noticed this verse. It is found in 1st Samuel 25: 29:

Even when you are chased by those who seek to kill you, your life is safe in the care of the Lord your God, secure in his treasure pouch!

This does start out rough talking about King David’s enemies chasing him and wanting to kill him. Hopefully that’s not our situation! However, notice the text says “when you are chased”, not “if you are chased.” We have all kinds of stuff chasing us don’t we? Bills, illnesses, pain, problems, hurts, disappointments, confusion . . . If anything, the resistance we are encountering can be reassurance that we are living lives that matter. The conclusion is in this lifetime we are going to face problems, hassles, and trials. However, in ways to vast for our minds to comprehend – God is protecting us. Even if we have the roughest life – we have the hope of eternity in heaven if we are one of God’s adopted kids (see Romans 8:1-17 to make sure you are in the family!).

Let’s focus on the last part of the verse. Treasure pouch – I like that! If we are God’s children then we must be in that pouch. I reflected on some of the attributes of what it means to be inside of a treasure pouch (try saying these out loud for greater impact):

I am protected.

I am valued.

I am cherished.

I am separated – in a good way.

A cost was paid for me.

He has invested in me.

I am His guarded possession.

I am safe.

He shows me off to others . . .

What about life’s challenges chasing us? Yes . . .

Once those tough times hit we can fix our minds on being in that pouch. Now, and then forever in eternity. When bad things happen, we can move forward knowing that we will ultimately triumph even though circumstances temporarily set us back.

Go out today and shine like the treasure that you are! Please comment if there are any other treasure attributes that you came up with to add to the list.

Blessings,

Dave 🙂

https://www.amazon.com/author/davidrische

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Beware of The Drift . . .

Posted on September 18, 2024 by David Rische

Actor and comedian Jim Carrey once made a comment about isolation I think many of us can relate to. Especially if we’re in jobs dealing with the general public, customer service, and consistently giving ourselves emotionally and physically. Plus, some of us are introverts – so it applies even more. Mr. Carrey said:

“Solitude is dangerous. It’s very addictive. It becomes a habit after you realize how peaceful and calm it is. It’s like you don’t want to deal with people anymore because they drain your energy.”

It is a fine balance between being alone to recharge and reenergize – or consistently being alone to avoid people and human interaction. Maybe we’ve been hurt, taken advantage of, drained, or annoyed by people. Plus, at the time of this writing – we are going through the process of finding a new church to call home. I find it super easy not to go at all. Who thought at my age I’d be doing this again? “Maybe I’ll continue the search next week. . . “

A mental image that comes to mind is a piece of driftwood floating in the water. It is incredibly relaxing to sit on the beach or some type of shore line and watch the patterns of the waves as they crash and then retract. It’s also fascinating to watch a piece of wood being moved by the waves. The wood innocently seems to have no will of its own. The pull of the water is the only direction it has at this time unless someone or something intervenes. Did you know the Bible warns against us being like that piece of wood? More specifically – it warns against a certain type of drifting:

So we must listen very carefully to the truth we have heard, or we may drift away from it (Hebrews 2:1).

Some things to consider if we sense ourselves drifting from the truth in any area of our lives:

  1. We don’t need to do anything to drift. Regression in any area of our lives happens naturally. If we aren’t intentional – decline is the natural default mode. Physically, mentally, socially, spiritually, and financially. Similar to the ever growing weeds in our flower beds – they just happen unless we are continually active in eliminating them. Plus, life can be overwhelming with challenges, problems, setbacks, procrastination, and overwhelm. Those all help accelerate the drift in our lives. Why put in the work to change the current course? Is it even worth it?
  2. We become isolated or unaccountable when we drift. Look at Jim Carrey’s warning, “Solitude is dangerous.” Our culture continues to encourage and make isolation incredibly attractive and easy. Food, entertainment, communication, banking, “social” media, church, shopping, and on and on. It all can be done from the comfort of the couch with a few clicks on the phone or favorite device. The writer of Hebrews wrote a warning to the Christians of his day: “Let us not give up the habit of meeting together – and all the more as you see The Day approaching.” (Hebrews 10:25) Further study shows that this group wasn’t meeting due to lack of interest. They weren’t meeting because it had a price attached. Fear, threats, possible harm, or even death. We don’t get together because of inconvenience, lack of priority, or not wanting to get emotionally hurt. Who is missing out on our gifts and uniqueness we have to offer when we are absent?
  3. We don’t grow when we drift. None of us deliberately want pain. Or struggles and hassles. Or battles. In a weird irony – those are the best ways for us to grow. I’d rather read a book about growth. Even better, listen to a podcast about “The 3 Easy Steps to Pain Free Growth” (I just made the title up – let me know if it’s really out there!). The shift from contributor to consumer is so subtle. The status quo becomes the goal we’re shooting for. And when we eventually do hit hard times – that is when we need people the most. People to listen and not judge. People to hug and encourage us. People to pray for us. Drifting and isolation want us to keep it all in and pretend we have our act together. In the wild, a lion will seek out the prey that has strayed from the pack. Peter warns us our enemy the devil is like a roaring lion (1 Peter 5:8). One of my favorite movie quotes comes from The Shawshank Redemption. The main character, Andy Dufresne, says to his friend, Red, “I guess it comes down to a simple choice, really. Get busy living, or get busy dying.”

Conclusion: One of the hardest things to prevent drifting in any of the key areas of our lives is we have to work at it not to. It takes major effort. Being vulnerable and potentially being hurt. This also carries over regarding our relationship with Jesus. In the book of Revelation, he calls out a church in the ancient city of Ephesus. However, he could just as easily be talking to us:

But I have this complaint against you. You don’t love each other as you did at first. Look how far you have fallen! Turn back to me and do the works you did at first (Revelation 2: 4,5).

What does that even look like? What are the “works you did at first”? Author Steve Farrar offers these tough reflection points from his book, Finishing Strong:

*You’re not seeking Jesus Christ the way you once did.

*You’re not hungrily diving into the Word the way you once did.

*You’re not enjoying the company of believers the way you once did.

*You’re not delighting in quiet walks and talks with God the way you once did.

If any of these apply to you and me, the good news is that every day is a fresh beginning. Instead of beating ourselves up – we can start small in any of the above areas and go from there. This is the day the Lord has made. We will rejoice and be glad in it (Psalm 118:24).

Blessings,

Dave 🙂

https://www.amazon.com/author/davidrische

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When Your Anxiety Is Off The Charts (reboot)

Posted on August 30, 2024 by David Rische

Doesn’t is seem like there is always something to be worried about? If not in our personal lives – then one quick look at the news highlights can fuel our angst rapidly? I read a study by Harvard Business Review showing that “Anxiety is the #1 Mental Illness and affects over 40 million Americans.” One of the tragedies of the study is that it was published back in May of 2020. What would the number be today???

That is why I love the title of the book, Worried About Everything Because I Pray About Nothing. One day I was randomly listening to a podcast and the guest was the author, Chad Veach. Never heard of him. His interview was so intriguing – I had to rush out and get the book (okay, my library had it available for free).

Chad’s foundational principle is that we should pray, turn things over to God, and pray some more until we reach some level of inner peace. In his own words, “Pray yourself to peace.” Worry, anxiety, and “fixing it” are usually our default modes. I had a fairly intense encounter with an angry “client” last week. It all turned out okay. After reflecting – I’m embarrassed to admit that I didn’t pray before, during, or after that encounter. Was I anxious? Yes. Was I worried? Yes. Did I pray? No.

Here are some of the key scripture verses from the book:

Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. (Philippians 4: 6-7)

You (God) will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you! (Isaiah 26: 3)

Now may the Lord of peace himself give you his peace at all times and in every situation. (2 Thessalonians 3: 16)

“I (Jesus) am leaving you with a gift – peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give . . . “ (John 14: 27)

So, if The Bible is true (it is!) – then perfect peace, God’s peace we can’t understand, and peace at all times and in every situation are attainable? Sign me up for this program! That’s the tricky part. It takes some effort, intentionality, and time on our parts. “Pray about everything” is the revealed secret. And it goes to a whole new level when my prayers stop being so “me” focused and they shift to others needs (and praying about world events instead of worrying or being angry about them). Here are are a few quotes that stood out to me from the book. Actually, they stood out because they were 1/2 inspiring and 1/2 “Ouch!”:

“Don’t ask God to guide your steps if you’re not ready to get off the couch.”

“It is easier to pray about things than to actually put in the work to fix them.”

“Crazy thought: Our prayers can move the hand of God.”

“Prayer is relational and not transactional.”

“What do you give a God that has everything??? . . . . . We give him more of ourselves!”

Conclusion: How about we give this a try? The next time something happens that leads our thoughts to worry, anxiety, and stress – what would happen if they first thing we did was stop and pray? It can be silent, swift, and imperfect. What would it be like if we started the habit of “praying yourself to peace”? And finally, what if our lives reflected flipping the title of this book? Worried About Nothing Because I Pray About Everything . . .

Blessings,

Dave 🙂

https://www.amazon.com/author/davidrische

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I’d Rather Have An Agenda Vs. A Compass

Posted on July 30, 2024 by David Rische

Do you find yourself asking these questions: What is my purpose? How do I know I’m going in the right direction with my life? What is God’s will for me? Have I taken a wrong turn with my decisions – and completely missed out on what I was supposed to do?

I wish God would give us an agenda for life. A detailed schedule. Exact times when things will occur. No surprises or cancellations please. Even a rough draft of what is coming – where I’m supposed to be and what I’m supposed to do would be nice.

Instead, God gives us a compass. We kind of know the general direction we’re to be going. We usually have no idea what surprises are lurking around the corner. Or, we might shake it every now and then and ask, “Is this thing even working???” With God’s compass – we have to trust and depend on Him.

Psalm 32 verse 8 is one of the best verses in the Bible regarding God’s promise to faithfully lead us with his compass. It states: The Lord says, “I will guide you along the best pathway for your life. I will advise you and watch over you.” (Psalm 32:8) Let’s break down the 4 key parts of this verse:

  1. Guide – God in his goodness promises to be with us. David said, “I have set the Lord always before me. Because he is at my right hand I will not be shaken.” (Psalm 16:8) A good guide is there to show you the way – not force you on the way. Several years ago, my wife and I had the opportunity to tour The Colosseum in Rome. At first, I stubbornly said, “We don’t need a tour guide – we can do it ourselves.” Talk about a terrible idea. Fortunately, the hotel front desk person convinced me otherwise. The guide we had was amazing. She used her pass to skip the long entry line. She had access to the floor of the Colosseum, she showed us wall drawings that ancient gladiators made, and we were able to view the catacombs where the warriors and animals for combat were kept. A guide can make a huge difference. She didn’t have to force, convince, or manipulate us to go. We trusted that the guide knew so much more than we did. Do we do the same with God?
  2. Best Pathway – God has seen all of history, and he knows the part we are to share with him. There are good pathways for us, bad ones, and the best. The hard part is it takes trust when it looks like we’re not on the right path. Or, we deliberately go the route we know we’re not supposed to go on. Detours and delays. Stuck in the traffic of life feeling like we’re barely moving forward. The second part of the phrase is critical also – best pathway for your life. It has been said that “comparison is the thief of joy.” Your life. Not your friends, acquaintances, or co-workers. Not the people doing all of the fun and happy stuff on social media. Not celebrities who appear to have everything going for them. God guides me and you on the best pathways for our lives – even when it doesn’t make logical sense to us or we don’t give it our approval.
  3. Advise – What is nice about advice is that it’s different than someone bossing us around. We have the choice whether to listen and take action or not. Family and friends give us advice. People that have “been there before.” Both young and older. Strangers. Sometimes words of warning. A few winters ago, we went snowmobiling as a family in New Mexico. Our guide (see point 1) told the entire group that we could explore the entire vast area that was before us on a wonderful white, snowy, mountain plain. Except, she reiterated, “stay away from the area on the right bank near the woods.” The snow was icy, muddy, and people had gotten stuck there. Sure enough, we were released to go explore – and this “obnoxious” family in our group headed straight for the area near the woods. And sure enough, several of their snowmobiles got stuck. And sure enough, the rest of us had to wait on them to get rescued. And sure enough, they never acknowledged doing anything wrong or apologized to the rest of us for completely ignoring the advice given in advance. It was weird. Anyway, how does God advise us? Through people, The Bible, prayers, the still small voice in our hearts, our intuition, events, circumstances, media, silence – the ways are endless. Are we looking and listening for his advice – or are we headed off to the woods to do our own thing?
  4. Watch over – To wrap up this wonderful promise, we find God’s assurance he will be there watching over us. However, we can’t help but ask some tough questions: If God is watching over me, why do bad things happen? If I’m on his path being guided – why did the end result seem like a flop? Why do I sometimes feel alone and abandoned? Those are all fair questions. And realistically, we probably won’t get a satisfying answer to them in this lifetime. To me, two verses stand out that help provide that compass when thinks are not going as I had hoped: “As high as the heavens are above the earth – so high are my ways and thoughts above yours” (Isaiah 55: 9). Also, “And we know that in all things God works together for the good of those who love him and are called according to his purpose” (Romans 8:28). He never promises a struggle free, charmed, all blessings and prosperity filled life. But, he has promised to always be there with us.

Conclusion – Years ago, a new pastor at the church we were attending boldly proclaimed, “God had given him a 10 year vision for the church!” “Wow, that guy most be super close to God”, I thought in my head. He must get extra visions, dreams, and revelations because of his occupation. I wish God would give me just a 10 day plan – but I’m not as spiritual as this pastor. Funny thing – that pastor took on an administrative job as a promotion in less than two years because now “God was leading him in a new direction.” So much for the 10 year vision – I guess God changed his mind? 🙂

As humans, mystery with God can either be an uncomfortable challenge or embraced. The Apostle Paul understood this tug of war. In 1 Corinthians 16: 9 he declares, “A great and effective door has been opened for me AND there are many obstacles.” From his life experiences he knew that barriers, resistance, and obstacles were validation that he was on the right path. He was at peace that God gave him a compass instead of an agenda. May we be the same.

Blessings,

Dave 🙂

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